Well Meaning or Just Mean?

We all have those people in our lives… you know, the ones who casually claim there’s nothing wrong with our children even though we know better. The folks who try to downplay what’s going on or completely ignore our struggles. Yeah… who else is tired of that???

Well Meaning or Just Mean?

We are blessed to have a lot of friends and family in our lives. A lot of them have been incredibly helpful and understanding while we struggle with Kaleb’s developmental delays. They ask us for tips on how to best interact with Kaleb so he becomes comfortable around them more quickly and what they can do to help him (or us). Others try to make us feel better by claiming that there’s nothing wrong with Kaleb or that we’re over reacting. Kaleb is pretty damn amazing if I do say so myself but that doesn’t mean there’s nothing wrong.

I know they mean well, but it’s incredibly frustrating. We spend so much time fighting our insurance, chasing grants, talking to coordinators, working with therapists, coordinating with doctors, tracking down specialists, researching, planning and teaching. A lot of time and energy goes into working with Kaleb on his speech and other issues. If there IS something wrong, getting help early on is important. If there ISN’T anything wrong, then what does it hurt?

Meaning, if you want to think I’m over reacting, go right ahead. Just keep it to yourself. Telling me that I’m over reacting doesn’t help. Telling me that I’m “lucky that he doesn’t talk” because your kid won’t shut up isn’t helpful, isn’t funny and just isn’t nice. I’m pouring my heart and soul into something as simple as just getting him to try and say the word “mommy” again.  (Yes, again. He learned mama which turned into mommy a long time ago. It was one of the few words he would say. He lost it, along with another. Words he once knew he has lost and has been unable to say for months. Regression of speech is a big red flag).

I know some of these people mean well when they tell me he’s perfectly fine, but most of their comments are rude and plain insulting, and I know I’m not alone in this.

This post originally appeared on Kaleb Monster.

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